


it will come back

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Autistic Greg House, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Dirty Jokes, First Kiss, Getting Together (kinda), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Greg House/Juan "Alvie" Alvarez, Post-Episode: s06e11 The Down Low, Sexuality Crisis, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28094037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: When Wilson fake proposes to him, House finds himself desperate to kiss him.
Relationships: Greg House/James Wilson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 129
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	it will come back

**Author's Note:**

> **fffc's 100th special:** box  
>  **fffc:** little special #112, with the wordcount 2446
> 
> enjoy!

House has never been a fan of boxes. Strict categories, beyond diagnostics, weren't really his thing. He understood Thirteen for going with the approach of liking both men and women. He tries his best to defy every societal box he can be put in, from being catalogued as autistic or simply an ass, to defying the definition of what a good doctor is.

The one box he's tried to firmly place himself in is heterosexuality. Which, of course, is a logical choice, considering he likes women. The stray thoughts about men and the magazines he collected obsessively while in Japan— forget it. He knows that everyone must be a little curious about their own gender, at one point, but they get over it. Some don't, and they're either gay or bisexual then. That's always been his conception of sexuality, as much as Nolan keeps telling him that no, not everybody is a little into the same gender, House. He's just in denial about being a little bit into guys, it's fine, really.

It's only until his whole mess with Nora and pretending to be gay that everything starts to fall out of place, the box shaking. A part of him enjoys this, as much as he'd love to deny it— he likes playing the part of a stereotypical gay man, and _Evita_ isn't that bad on a second listen. That's not what matters about sexuality, though, of course. Plenty of straight guys like musicals and act kind of gayly, limp wrist and all. What matter is if he's attracted to men, and, well...

"Gregory House, will you marry me?" Wilson's voice echoes in his head even now, a loop of his words, as he thinks over and over again how much he wanted to kiss him right then and there. That wasn't a normal guy thing to want, or something straight guys wanted, he knew that much.

He walks into Nolan's office and immediately hits him with the question: "How good are you at dealing with a patient's sexuality crisis?"

Nolan huffs at that. "I've only had to deal with that from a patient twice or so, but I can certainly try. Did you have some sort of revelation?"

"Well, last week I basically pretended to be in a relationship with Wilson and he proposed to me so I'd stop." At Nolan's perplexed look he says, as if that would explain anything, "Long story." He swallows. "Anyway, I wanted to kiss him right then and there. Desperately. Like it was going to kill me if I didn't."

Nolan looks at his notes. "I suppose you didn't."

"I mean, that would've only affirmed to the girl we were playing gay with that we were gay, which was kind of not the general idea," he says. "Was trying to get into her pants. Again, long story. A woman yelled _say yes!_ at the restaurant."

"Did you want to say yes?"

House freezes there like a deer in the headlights, considers that. _Did_ he want to say yes? He didn't think about it in the moment, too overwhelmed with the need to kiss Wilson until their lips chapped. "I don't know," he says.

Nolan nods. "I've tried to bring you toward a realization by telling you that no, straight people aren't a little curious about the same gender, but I'm glad to see you had an experience to make you realize without me getting too in the way of it."

House huffs and rolls his eyes. "Have you know I'm into guys in a serious manner all this time?"

"The way you talked about Wilson was proof enough back in Mayfield," he says. "Not to mention your unlikely bond with Alvie."

House straightens up at the mention of Alvie. He had almost blocked out how giddy the man made him feel, the way they sang together at the talent show, the way he found making Alvie angry and miserable by insulting him almost cute. _Oh. Wait._ "I was... wait."

"Yes," Nolan says, grinning. "You were pulling his pigtails like a fourth grader."

"Has he gotten out of Mayfield?"

"Yes," he replies. "But this is not about Alvie. You have more pressing matters with your long-budding romance with Wilson, I believe."

"Well," he says immediately, "even if _I_ am bisexual or whatever, Wilson isn't. He's as straight as a rock, he's been in way too many relationships with women to be gay!"

"He could still be bisexual," he replies. "As much as I'm sure you're convinced that bisexual men are a rare occurrence, they're not. But they are largely closeted. Still, I doubt Wilson has stuck around you for this long simply because he wants to be your friend."

"Are you calling me insufferable?" he asks, tilting his head.

Nolan doesn't dignify that with a response. "Most people don't want to be your friend, House. Much less for over a decade. I believe you should come out to him, try and talk about how you felt when he proposed to you."

"What if he's straight?" he replies. "He's going to freak out."

"If he's straight..." He huffs. "You know he's not homophobic, House. It'll be alright."

"There's a difference between not being homophobic and being okay with your best friend having the hots for you, doctor."

"Yes, the hots," Nolan replies, sarcasm dripping over his voice. "I'm sure that's as far as your nonplatonic attachment toward Wilson goes."

House flushes pink at that, he can't help it— the mere idea of admitting he's a little bit in love with Wilson makes him sick to his stomach. "That's all it is," he replies.

They both know he's lying, but Nolan drops it. "Even if he _is_ straight and not fond of the situation, he will not simply abandon you out of discomfort, House. You know he would not do that."

He knows, logically, that Wilson would not do that. He knows that Wilson has a messiah complex the size of an apartment complex, that Wilson would not leave him alone, without any friends to lean onto. He knows these things, and yet he's the fatalistic sort. He pictures it crystal clear in his mind, telling Wilson he likes him. That he's into him. The way disgust would cover his face. _Of course you pretended to be in a relationship with me,_ he sneers. _You just wanted to have what you'd never get in reality. You're a pervert._ The mere idea sends him off, makes his stomach tie up in knots and his leg to start hurting.

"House," Nolan says, and he's brought back to reality.

"What?" he snaps, looking back at him.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm just peachy, doctor," he replies.

"What were you thinking about?"

He huffs. "Just... fatalistic concepts of what will happen if I tell him."

"it won't be a catastrophe, House," he says. "There will be no exploding volcanos."

He rubs his face. "I know. I'm just afraid of the possibility of it... being okay. Of him... _reciprocating_ , too." He laughs bitterly. "I'm not the best at relationships."

"That I've noticed," Nolan replies.

The rest of their appointment goes by with deflection and changes of topic, until it's time for House to leave and go back home to their apartment. God, to his and Wilson's apartment. It's still mostly deserted, them refusing to go through the process of getting furniture, as it'd be taxing and boring. It's still livable, though, mostly because they got their beds put in place.

"Wilson," he says, walking into their place. "I'm home."

He turns to look at him, smiles. Maybe this would be okay. "Was therapy okay?"

"Yeah, sure," he replies, going over to get settled on the couch. It's still that one, having refused to change it for something a bit better. In his defense, it reclines, and he liked hearing Wilson sing, so it was a win-win situation for him. He makes it recline once again and swallows, feels his Adam's apple bob in his throat. He wants to talk about this, he wants to tell Wilson how he feels. But a thousand situations, each worse than the last, play in his head.

The possibilities are endless. And that's terrifying.

"You know," he starts lightly, like he's talking about the weather. "I came to a realization, the other day. Back when we were doing our _pretending to be gay_ thing."

"Are you coming out to me as a joke?" Wilson replies, not looking away from the television. "You know, you should come up with new material."

It's not like he's ever done that before, but he understands what he means.

"Wilson," he says, trying to sound more stern, more serious. "I came to a realization when you proposed to me."

"Did you, now?"

He's taking this as a joke. Which House guesses he can't blame him for. He's always avoided sentimentality like the plague, why on Earth would he be honest about his feelings now? But it's the only way to progress, to get this part out of the way. Either it goes well or it doesn't. He'll cope with not having a friend if it goes poorly. Wilson will marry some random girl again, another girl who needs a savior and who finds comfort in him. And he'll get divorced, and the cycle will continue, and they will both be miserable. They're already both miserable, but this time they will be away from each other, cut off.

"I wanted to kiss you," he says. He stares at a point on the wall, watches the shapes the wood makes. He doesn't dare look at Wilson for his reaction. He's very good at eye contact, usually, or at least the good old stare at their nose trick, but today that feels like pulling teeth. He sucks in a breath. "I wanted to kiss you when you proposed to me. And I got scared and kind of forgot what we were doing for a second. I talked to Nolan about it. I... have been in denial about being bisexual for a long while. But I am. And you know how I am. I'm a disaster and I'm pessimistic and whatever you want to call it, but if you don't like this you can just leave. I know we both own this place but I'm sure we can arrange something so it's all yours."

It's like they're both holding their breath, waiting for the other to give in. House can feel Wilson's stare burn through his neck. He wonders if he's expecting him to laugh at him, make a joke about how _did you really think I'd open up?_ , but he offers him just silence, and stares at the wall. He sucks in a breath, tries to ignore the lump in his throat. His hands shake slightly, even though the heater's on.

"House," Wilson says softly. "That's okay." A pause. "Sorry for thinking you were joking. I'm just not used to... you know." He laughs. "This. But... um. That's okay. To be honest, I've been doubting my sexuality for the last... uh... five or so years. It's been a rough patch and I had half-convinced myself into thinking I'm straight, but then, you know, things happen!"

"Like what?" he replies, tilting his head, still not looking at him.

"Like..." A sigh. "Like you, House. Like you."

He manages to look at Wilson. He's blushing, a deep pink taking control of his face. The impulse to kiss him comes back full force and he stares at him, mouth open slightly. He doesn't know how to ask if he can kiss him. Should he just go for it? Wilson is staring at him too. Should he just go for it?

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, voice rough around the edges with pent-up emotion.

"No better way to check on a sexuality crisis," Wilson jokes lightly, and then pulls him closer.

Their kiss is messy, awkward, not quite sure how to put their mouths together. House gasps into it softly, grabs at Wilson's hair and touches him, like that's all he'll ever be able to do. Their noses bump and he laughs into Wilson's mouth, giddy, grabbing onto him like he's all he can hold onto for the rest of his days. 

"Okay," Wilson says, out of breath and wild-eyed. "I... That was a good test run. I've got some mixed feelings. What about a confirmation of my suspicions, doctor?"

"You need proof for your thesis?" he teases. Before Wilson can answer, he pulls him into another kiss. This one is more confident, eager— their mouths press together in a song and dance that is a little too innocent for two men in their forties. _We really are a tiger away from an act in Vegas_ , he thinks, and he smiles as he presses against Wilson's lips. When he pulls away, he's smiling so wide it makes his cheeks hurt. It's an odd sensation; he doesn't remember the last time he felt that. Perhaps it was with Wilson, too, laughing with him. "How is your theory looking?" he jokes.

"Well," he says. A laugh escapes his mouth. He's blushing hard, it creeping all over his face. "Theory confirmed. I'm a bisexual man. Might take some time to get used to the concept, though. Especially when it comes to bedding me."

"You sound like a Victorian woman," he says. " _Oh, you must wait until marriage to know me_ ," he mocks. And then he actually considers sleeping with Wilson, and it's like all color drains from his face.

"You're not much better off," Wilson replies without missing a beat. 

"Shut up," he groans. "I'm just not used to having someone fuck me up the ass."

"I didn't know you were bottoming?"

"I've got a bum leg and I'm chronically needy," he drawls. "You do the math."

The surprise in Wilson's face is apparent. "I just didn't think you'd be comfortable with the concept of—"

"It's 2010, Wilson," he interrupts. "I can bottom for a guy."

"With this level of comfort you'd think you've been pegged before."

"Eh," House replies noncommittally, pulling him into a quick kiss. "You want to watch Housewives?"

"Of course," Wilson says, grabbing the remote and changing the channel. "You know, the Real Housewives thing should've been a tip-off."

"Oh, piss off," House groans, flushing pink. 

Wilson's laugh is melodic; he could listen to it for the rest of his life and never get bored of it. He's excited to tell Nolan about this development, leaning into Wilson as Jacklyn complains about her husband. He's sure Nolan will, for once, be happy at his efforts. 

And— for once, as well— he's happy, too.


End file.
